Tender pot roast, decadent macaroni and cheese, deliciously hearty spaghetti bolognese that requires a change of clothes afterwards—many will stand the test of time and experience. Your parents' kitchen is the first and best eatery you'll ever experience, but not just because of the food. No chef has ever had to tell his or her patrons to stop feeding the dog from the table. What are kids but a bunch of non-paying customers who whine and yell and know nothing about the culinary arts? Your parents know that you've seen other worlds, and learned that people outside your house have the ability to cook, too. Am I not the most handsomest boy in the world? But a few will manage to subvert all that artisan, farm-to-table horseshit fare you've eaten since, and once again make you feel like a tiny child sitting in a too-big chair, barely able to see above the table. A cold shiver runs up your spine.
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